I want to thank everyone for their kind comments, I love the blogging community so much =)
After my last post I curled up in bed with the boyfriend for a couple hours… I remember dozing off a bit, and then waking up with a jolt and holding onto him tightly while saying “I don’t know what to do” a few times. He held me tight and told me I didn’t have to do anything right then, that it would pass and to get a little sleep. And I did. When I woke up I was still feeling very down and a bit groggy, but I managed to get back to work. I also managed to drag myself to the gym for a short 20min run on the elliptical before going to meet K for dinner and chit chat. All of these things (and the love from you readers) slowly lifted me back up to a bearable place.
Since reading from my new book a little more, I have made it a point to just acknowledge what I’m feeling and leave it at that. I’ll simply think or say, “I’m feeling depressed” or “I’m feeling frustrated” and then go about my business. I am aware that I am feeling these things, yet I am simply letting it be rather than picking it apart. The book talks about how the sad and negative thoughts, moods and feelings are not the issue, it is the reaction to those things that begin the spiral into depression. I can say with some relief that it has actually been working =) Today I said out loud that I was feeling depressed. I acknowledged this and just by doing so I seemed to shift my own mood. Feeling depressed was suddenly not the end of the world, no reason to crawl into bed and give up on the day… it was simply my mood for the moment. So I chose to be “okay” and continue with my day.
Before I read any further in the book I am going to work for the remainder of the week on continuing to just acknowledge what I’m feeling. I’m going to get some exercise in every day and do things that I know will make me feel good even when I’d rather just go to sleep. Baby steps.
Today I awoke with some serious drive to complete our business site. I have announced to everyone that the site will be up Friday morning and am sticking to it. I worked hard today and finished up all but one of the portfolio section animations. I’ve just got to finish one, animate the about section and built the contact page and it’s ready to launch. I’m not sure where this drive came from, but it rocks.
Thanks again for the love and support… I’m glad I have such great people to work through this with, it’s much better than therapy =)
7 comments
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January 8, 2009 at 2:11 am
strongandhealthy
Hi, I just found your blog and love it. What an inspirational post! That book sounds great. Have a wonderful day!
January 8, 2009 at 3:44 am
MizFit
Im thinking of getting that book for my sister…the more you talk about it the more I notice OTHERS mentioning it as well….
January 8, 2009 at 8:58 am
Stephenie
strongandhealthy and MizFit, thanks for stopping by and commenting =) The book is really great, I will keep sharing more about it as I go along. I am sending one to my sister as well.
January 8, 2009 at 11:37 am
DonnaLynn
What a great post. You pointed out to me something that I need to think about and work on myself, and that is what blogging is really about… helping others.
I hope you have a great day, and accomplish your goal to just realize what you’re feeling, just be aware. I think it’s a very important goal.
-DonnaLynn in Hawaii
January 8, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Stephenie
Thanks DonnaLynn. Blogging really is about helping others and I’ve gotten so much from it already, I can’t wait to meet more people =)
January 9, 2009 at 5:55 am
Fitness Surfer
I’m so glad you had the boyfriend there to help you thru the rough night. I know exactly what you mean by recognizing your emotions for what they are and not reacting to them…doesn’t bean i always do that =)
I tend to push people away when I’m depressed, but I’m learning to reach out a little more. Free therapy is always a good thing. $105 a session is crazy and more expensive then meds. I’d rather prevent both, and would do counseling long before going on meds again.
January 9, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Stephenie
Krystal, I push people away too, it takes a lot for me to say I need someone but I’ve been working on it. I think I worry that people will get sick of hearing about my issues, but my boyfriend’s been very supportive =) I’ve never done meds, but I feel so strongly that they would just be making me feel happy when my situation is still the same… maybe I’m just stubborn but I’d rather not try them. Counseling is just uncomfortable for me. But I love blogging and writing my feelings, so this works nicely =)